Betty Jean Lifton, Journey of the Adopted Self

"Adoptees must weave a new self-narrative out of the fragments of what was, what might have been, and what is. This means they must integrate their two selves: the regressed baby who was abandoned and the adult the baby has become.
"They must make the artificial self real, and allow the forbidden self to come out of hiding. They must integrate what is authentic in these two selves, and balance the power between them. It is during this period that the adoptee feels most vulnerable, because neither self is in charge.
"They must accept that they cannot be fully the birth parent's child any more than they could be fully the adoptive parents' child. They must claim their own child, become their own person, and belong to themselves."

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